If you’re a lifeguard or familiar with water safety, you’re aware that a drowning individual can be highly dangerous. The distress and panic they experience can inadvertently result in the potential rescuer’s own peril. This danger isn’t an occasional occurrence; it’s a frequent hazard. A drowning person, in their desperate bid to survive, will often do anything to keep their head above water. Their flailing arms and erratic movements make them hazardous and, regrettably, these situations often take a tragic turn.

This image, terrifying as it might be, serves as an accurate metaphor for the behavior exhibited by individuals suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Much like a drowning person, narcissists are perpetually struggling to stay afloat in the ocean of their turbulent emotions. Their affliction—a literal personality disorder compounded by attachment issues—impels them to latch onto anything they can, whether it’s material possessions, substances, or people. These props are meant to keep their heads above the engulfing waves of their internal struggles, to help them survive their constant battles.

What makes the scenario more complex is that narcissists, due to the nature of their disorder, often don’t feel any remorse for the damage they inflict on others. Their singular focus is survival, and they’re willing to drag anyone down into the depths with them to ensure it. Just like a lifeguard must sometimes make the heart-wrenching decision to let a dangerous person drown to prevent more casualties, those entangled with a narcissist might find themselves having to make a similar choice.

This analogy is not meant to demonize narcissists, but rather to shed light on the complex and dangerous dynamics that can arise when dealing with this personality disorder. It is a plea for understanding and a word of caution. It is a reminder that sometimes, for the sake of self-preservation, the most compassionate choice is to let go and distance oneself from the destructive patterns that narcissists exhibit. With adequate support and professional help, it is possible for those entangled with narcissists to find their own safety and stability, and for the narcissists themselves to seek the help they need.